Meet Mariam. She is a volunteer at Breaking Taboo. She is an artist, a writer, and a mental health advocate. At Breaking Taboo, we encourage conversation and creative expression. Here, Mariam can share her true story of pain, survival, and wisdom, as well as express her inner heart the rest of the world. We hope to give hope to others.
“I have battled with very harsh emotions early on in life, that nearly consumed me to the brinks of self sabotage. Meanwhile, suicidal thoughts were often entertained due to so many life transitions that came towards my path that many people may not be able to handle at all. I had battled with intense grief due to my father’s death, alongside with rage, guilt, fear, sadness. When these emotions surfaced, I was drowning. I had to save my life. Above all, I had to take initiative to start my healing process.
I turned to many creativity to start my journey. I started to write poetry at age sixteen , to cope with my pain, grief, depression, anger, negative thoughts that nearly drove me to suicide. I also studied dance in college, my favorite was interpretive choreography. This type of dance allows you to express emotions through body movements. In this way, I felt I had closure when I danced. I felt I was allowed to filter my emotions in a place of value and validation. I began to paint abstract paintings shortly after. For me, painting allowed me to exude what happened to me in the moment I felt something very harsh. Painting gave me proof that my negative experiences in life may travel to a place of beauty, which was a reminder to keep moving on in life.
I became heavily involved in holistic health as I turned Eighteen years of age. I started to work at a holistic health pharmacy and became a certified massage therapist. I disciplined myself to achieve self love through holistic health. Through self love, I mastered the storms in my spirit. As I grew older, I became more in touch with more exercise, nutrition, nature, and volunteer with horses and children. I have become a teacher for my beautiful students in China, these children take all my pain away. The inner child that was suppressed, abandoned, abused, neglected, forgotten becomes free when I teach.
There are answers to help end suicidal tendencies. It starts with an inner journey of self love and mastery over the mind, soul, and body connection. Honoring myself brought me enough self love to value myself, and not let negative situations, people, my emotions drown me to suicide. I also practiced to write affirmations along with meditations. Study different philosophies from different religions were also helpful to me. I learned that to be completely selfless , and devoted to a universal consciousness is where clarity stands. Now clarity washes any dark thoughts that wanted to clutter my rainbow, I have power to be the best version of me and make miracles happen.
With Universal love to all and Mostly Compassion Mariam.”