I was in elementary school when I first watched an episode of Friends. I was immediately drawn to the character of Chandler. We were both awkward. We were both funny. We both had problems. He was one of my first TV crushes after Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. I became obsessed with Friends. I got the DVD of season 2 for Christmas one year and would act out Chandler’s lines in my basement trying to imitate his perfect comedic timing. By middle school, I was a bonafide Friends addict thanks to Matthew Perry. I began taking my love for him outside of Friends and watched all the movies I could find with him in it. And this was before streaming, so I had to really be a detective with the TV guide and Blockbuster.
Through the years and growing from childhood to adulthood, I began to get other interests. Other shows caught my eye and Friends went to the wayside with my Pokémon cards.
I hadn’t watched a full episode of Friends in years when I got a text from my mom asking me what happened to Chandler. Immediately I knew we lost him. I went to Google and it was confirmed that Matthew Perry had died.
At that moment, I had a mix of emotions. Sadness, guilt, and maybe a little anger. I had sadness over the loss of a great comedic talent. An actor who inspired me to pursue a career in comedy. Guilt over not realizing sooner how much he meant to me when I was younger. And anger over the world being an unfair place. Matthew had been through hell and back fighting his demons. He emerged on the other side and helped those with addiction problems. Only to die at 54.
Alone. I began thinking about my own death and how I have no more control over it than Matthew did.
Maybe I connected with Matthew at a young age because of his demons. With my own mental health struggles, perhaps it was a connection between two troubled souls searching for the light through a TV screen. I liked him because he wasn’t perfect. He was open about his addiction struggles and battles. I too am open about my depression and anxiety. Maybe following in his footsteps.
I could see myself in Matthew Perry. Which is weird to think about. An African-American girl sees herself in a White male television star. But it’s true. I understood his struggles and his need to be funny and accepted. Matthew’s death brought all my love for him as a kid back up. My connection to him.
I didn’t know Matthew Perry. I’ve never met Matthew Perry. I can’t imagine how his family and friends are feeling right now. But I did know his work. His spirit. And I mourn that loss. The man I thought I knew. A part of my childhood died with him—a happy part. Which is sad to think about but like everything in our world, all things come to an end. But that doesn’t mean there has to be sadness. I think Matthew Perry wouldn’t want that. My favorite quote of his is “…there’s nothing better for me than a world that everybody’s just trying to make each other laugh.” I think that’s a pretty good world to live in. And I’ll try my best to make his dream come true.
~ Kellie Wood
Kellie is a writer based in Astoria, NY. She has a BFA in dramatic writing from SUNY Purchase. She placed third in the 2016 national Mark Twain Royal Nonesuch Humor Contest and was a semifinalist in 2022 for the Creative Screenwriting Unique Voices Contest for her screenplay “Tomboy”. She was also awarded a certificate by Oliver Ellsworth Elementary School in 1998 for her great behavior. Kellie strongly believes in the quote “A day without laughter is a day wasted”. She finds humor in her writing believing that comedy can connect people and help them become more empathetic. She lives with both depression and anxiety and finds writing about them and her experience therapeutic. She enjoys going to the movies, hanging out with friends, and building Legos in her free time. She’s also in therapy, so don’t worry.
